I’m still troubled for why I no longer lie,
Maybe instead I thought “damn” that should be the end,
My job was to fall and die,
Wow! That’s harsh… what a blazing sun,
Not even fit for flight, for the swans on standby,
I assure what came next wasn’t fun,
A charcoaled lizard stained in orange,
Oh! How I felt the misery and treachery of every pun,
He made me feel what I knew as foreign,
Now in this world we were uncanny friends,
Should I really be bothered? It is all so boring,
Even so… when my soul pries and cries,
It tells my conscious that this is our chance to make amends,
I’m all alone and maybe I need to die. That’s all I thought about as I kept walking and walking through the open highways. They move at such high speeds and would kill anyone instantly. The rails of the highway were a nice way to slip and go for a forest dive, becoming one with nature sooner than expected. That would be a nice way to go as well. I’m alone and I’m going to die anyway so why ponder? Why ponder about the demise? Maybe it’s just me trying to pathetically give my life some kind of meaning. I decided the best way to die was running across the highway packed with cars, then I can fly into the ocean. I can die happy but also alone. I was on the edge, but I slapped my pathetic legs that shook…
Forward!
I prepared my sprint. That’s when I ran with style across cars. I did, ending my life and existence. Into the valley of death. I flew and skydived into the ocean like a swan dying with what I knew of has an honour that I couldn’t see in the news reports about me after I’m gone. I finally completed my journey that I shouldn’t have started to begin with. At least that’s what I thought.
I had thought I could complete my journey easily but a new one came instead…
I woke up in a grassy field, it was lush with beauty. It was expansive but also wide and I appreciated the serenity of the area as the sun shined down on me. As far as the eye can see I couldn’t see an end to such a field, it was as if for the first time I could see limitless possibilities presented right in front of me. Although I was already alone so I couldn’t share this feeling I had with anyone, the feeling was foreign. However, this foreign feeling while it was good, I felt a bit selfish for having it. Despite this mini monologue in my mind about what was around me, it took me a while to realise something strange had happened.
My head felt weird as if I was wearing something. I could see bits of blood on the inside of this ‘mask’ which was hardly a bother. What was a bother was a bone that was stuck to my hand and I couldn’t get it off. This was then that I had realised I had suddenly shrunk in height. Once a man of 6ft 4 now a measly 4ft 9. I quickly dashed to a nearby river to when my suspicions were confirmed, I had transformed into a pokemon. Although it wasn’t just any pokemon it was surprisingly a cubone. While oddly fitting considering my distaste for living even I had enough pride to not be patronised.
I started to wonder why I had become a pokemon as it is a popular game that many love; I have always had enjoyment for pokemon. I feel delusional and totally out of place, it might be better if I were to end things here while I had the chance. I looked at the river one more time that continued to laugh as I looked at the lonely cubone’s reflexion.
I’m in a coma at this point likely so if I can end it now things shouldn’t be a problem. I finally decided to step into the poised waters of the gentle river, almost leaping in. As I was ending it all the gentle pain I felt melted me away.
When I became a pokemon it shows that I need to die.
I’m all alone and that’s how it needs to stay…
End of story except not really. The heavens hate me again and again, so what would have been my second suicide attempt came another life-changing event. As I was being pulled out of the poised waters, an orange lizard pulled me from my head panting at an unnatural pace as his feet grazed the surface of the waters below. The waters went from gentle to raging as the lizard struggled annoyingly. Finally, he was able to yank me out.
Swoosh, Splash!
The waters eventually calmed with me and the lizard struggling to breathe he then quickly panted still out of breath,” Why were you trying to take a dip you know you shouldn’t.” Already feeling insignificant, I was baffled.
‘A dip’!
Does this Pokemon even have a brain? I was trying to kill myself!
Quickly not even thinking about the Pokemon in front of me I exhaled still short of breath,” Yeah… sorry about that. Anyway, I gotta go.” I wanted to be sure I wasn’t going crazy so I then tried to escape from said Pokemon, but instead, it asked
“I didn’t catch your name? Can you please tell me? Also, why are you in a strange place?”
The Pokemon ignoring what I was trying to say to him, I eventually gave in to its stupidity.”I’m… Nison. Good to see you?”
“Wow, I thought you were weird even your name is funny. Is that your nickname or something cause I’m pretty sure your just a regular Cubone.” The Pokemon involuntarily burst with laughter and I couldn’t contain the urge to slap this Pokemon silly. When looking carefully at this Pokemon it was a like a lizard that is bigger but could also stand. Around 4ft 10 only slightly bigger than me. It has that kind of stance that kind of mimics that of a crouch with its tail likely being the support. The flame on its tale looked quite small, only slightly burning. Probably because it saved me. I used to like Charmander but this one is interesting.
“Anyway I’m a Charmander, I live in the town area near here. What are you doing here in such a weird place I just came here for a walk.” As the Charmander was about to begin rambling as if saved by the bell a massive earthquake started splitting the ground in two. The lush green grass screamed as it was ripped in two. I felt as if the tectonic plates were shaking me on the shoulders quite heavily as I struggled to find decent footing. It only made it harder when the bumbling Charmander shouted,
”What’s happening?!”
The fissure is opening right in front of him and he dares to ask what is happening. For that brief moment, I continued to shame the Pokemon in my mind, but before I continued, we saw a Butterfree trying to go down near where the fissure had open. She looked quite distressed and would constantly pace around the area to which she then shouted,” Can anyone help my poor child he’s fallen into the abyss. I’m afraid he may be killed.” As I then somehow regained my balance over the abyss below, I pondered on what the Butterfree had said. Why would she worry it’s not as if other Pokemon will just attack him right? The Charmander without a word jumped in and nodded quickly to the Butterfree to reassure her that we would save her child. I decided that I would try and stay, just pondering about life, although again the Charmander had pushed me in beforehand. Still irritated I got up and swallowed my pride to help someone else. Inside the fissure, an opening emerged, me and the delusional Charmander continued onward.
We walked in the cavern quite slowly, but something didn’t feel right. While I haven’t been in caves often it felt different from the outside. I felt as if I was walking into an actual abyss. A sinking abyss that would take me to a darker world. The rock cave was quite barren and confided, very hard for anyone to get lost in. Everything didn’t remain that way though and it changed right before our eyes. The whole time I only treaded the area very carefully while the Charmander brave or stupid scouted further ignoring the chance of danger. It was then that we saw another opening although this one was different.
It was very different…
The light shined brightly into our faces, while bright it was far from holy.
What I saw before me was a secondary forest that had emerged, although it was different from the beautiful fields from before. Instead, the sun felt dimmed, almost sad to be shining on such an area. The trees possessed no emotions, they just swayed back and forth at the command of the wind. Around us, we were imprisoned by the forest walls. It was as if the earth in the area had lifted to make a dungeon. What was strange about this dungeon was that it was in clear broad daylight, not hidden inside a cave. Out in the open for all to see. The walls of dirt around us were too slippery to climb or run-up, we were truly trapped. All that was left to do was go through the different narrow pathways that laid ahead. While I kept gawking at the amazing site that was the dungeon I noticed that the Charmander flinched. His body froze solid which was something I never thought I would see from such a Pokemon. He spoke quite terrified,” We seemed to have stumbled onto a mystery dungeon. This is not, good. This is kinda scary but… we have to do this for Caterpie.”
This Charmander was genuinely scared for his life and had a great sense of fear. These days life is just a word to me, I don’t know how to feel about this Pokemon sometimes. While this Pokemon did seem shy and scared, I really couldn’t take it anymore. This dim-witted Charmander isn’t helpful at all so instead, I decided to continue on my own. I am the lonely Pokemon so I should stick to that title faithfully.
Leaving Charmander behind I went onward to the narrow path ahead. The walls were quite squeezed but also narrow. Hardly any room to breathe or move around in. I kept going though because I had no purpose so maybe saving one life could be enough. As I kept being redundant in my mind, up ahead in the narrow path I saw a Pokemon. It was very small and looked quite happy. Filled with joy, very small but seemed pleased with life. A small little sprout on its head with a quite harmless yellow body. It was a Sunkern, I walked up to it hoping for some guidance on how to make my way out of the dungeon or if it had seen a Caterpie.
It didn’t speak it just kept smiling. I asked again for some help, but it again smiled. Smiled at me with it’s big adoring eyes. Somehow those eyes were horrifying because I could see something much more dangerous behind the mask. Something different from the Charmander and Butterfree from previous. As I noticed while I wanted to plead for death, I had to think about the Caterpie first. I for the first time tried to save someone else but it was almost for nothing. My strength was quickly absorbed with no hesitation and I had no time to react as my life slipped away.
I was dying again…
It was more frustrating this time though as I needed the will to live.
I needed the will to live, for the first time I spoke aloud ] shouting,” I want to live!”
At the same time, the Charmander came out of nowhere and released an ember with a hefty amount of power. I could feel the will to protect others, but also his will to live. The pokemon was killed on arrival. While horrifying what was left of it were smoky remains. Charmander came up to me with a sadden chuckle,” Don’t run away next time, it’s easy to die in here so please don’t. Keep that will to live and you will have the will to fight”
The Charmander as he keeps tagging along becomes more and more interesting. He always wants to help others, but he is also not that bright in some regards. I kept thinking about how strange he was, as he went back to be scared again like he did when I left. I then spoke up to say,” Charmander let’s find him together ok?” He seemed quite happy and almost burst with excitement until the harsh winds that swayed the trees nearby reminded him of where he was. While scared we continued deeper and deeper into the dungeon. Strangely there were stairs in the dungeons. These stairs felt manmade but also prebuild even though the mystery dungeon had just emerged. I was curious about why they were even in the dungeon. These thoughts only skimmed over my mind as when we explored further, we had to battle many different kinds of pokemon. We eventually made it to the centre were Caterpie was. Caterpie was scared and confused but we reassured him that things were going to be alright. We then later saw an exit to the dungeon via another flight of stairs. Me and Charmander took Caterpie out of the strange location and we took him back to his mother. She looked very pleased and looked at us with joy,” Thank you I don’t know what I would of done if I had lost my child. Please, I insist take these tokens of my gratitude.” She gave us this strange kind of money that was called poke. I hesitantly accepted it because I have no interest in life or money. I expected Charmander to not accept it for different reasons. He seemed more like a noble person who couldn’t accept money. Although he accepted it with open arms almost yanking it from her arm. She looked slightly displeased but shrugged it off.
“You kids should think of becoming a rescue team, you seem quite bold and strong.” I was confused, what was a rescue team and why was it necessary? Charmander happily replied,” Me and my friend here are thinking of making one soon.” The Charmander quickly said in a rushed tone. After we waved goodbye at Caterpie and his mom. All the while as they left Caterpie looked at me and Charmander. Specifically, me adoringly but different from when it was that Sunkern. It felt more bright and warm.
By the time we had finished our goodbyes with Butterfree and Caterpie it was now time to head home. For me though, I didn’t have a home. No place to stay or a place where I could belong. Charmander went under a tree and gathered some firewood. He quickly got them together and spread a soft comforting flame that glowed under the tree. He sat down and invited me over. I sat under the tree with him and he quickly gave me something to munch on. I hesitantly accepted it but I still did with somewhat open arms. His face was now serious, he seemed to have been frustrated but also greatly saddened. His tale nearly touched the grass that was only a few centimetres from coming to contact with the flame.
“Listen Nison or Cubone what we faced back there is something called a mystery dungeon. In this world there exist two types of Pokemon, ok. Those like me and Butterfree who want peace for everyone, but also those who want to fight for themselves and them alone. If they had the chance they would kill other Pokemon instantly, unfortunately, they make up the majority of the population. We started to isolate ourselves from those Pokemon but we couldn’t completely which would cause massive fights between us. That Sunkern we fought and all the others in the mystery dungeon are those kinds of Pokemon. Although by chance these Pokemon found a place to live, a place where they can live in their world were Pokemon can eat Pokemon. This is where mystery dungeons come in. Nobody knows where they came from, but it’s believed they were created by a legendary Pokemon or some other kind of force. They now make up most of the Pokemon world’s and surroundings so it’s quite dangerous out there now. Us who believed in peace created rescue teams that go to take on jobs that help protect those who are being attacked by these Pokemon. Please, Nison I’m asking you because I see something in you. Can you form a rescue team with me.”
I fell into a deep silence. The fire continued burning and burning into the souls of the hearts in the sky. I broke my silence myself in my mind as I felt like a lot was just shoved on my shoulders. Pokemon and conflict, I was quite surprised since when I came to this Pokemon world it was filled with endless joy and happiness. Their conflict felt more comparable with humans.”Charmander do many Pokemon die on these missions or fail to rescue those in trouble.” Charmander instead of staying sadden started to look with an iron cold facial expression. Straight in the dead centre of my eye,” They die and die. We hardly notice their suffering, death is only a word to us now. We also have to kill the ones in the dungeons. I see death reported on every day even though I don’t have a rescue team. Survival is the keyword pondering on deaths means more deaths.” As the Charmander ingrained this message into me I started to realise. This Charmander can only be happy because he can see a future. He can only be happy as he knows death but doesn’t prick tears when those who are or lost. In some regards, he is like me but in others, he is still foreign in many ways. While I feel there exists no hope for me this Charmander has left me confused.
“Charmander I will form a rescue team with you and please help me as well ok?” Charmander looked at me again and smiled,” Don’t frown just smile ok, tomorrow we can get started and I have a place for you to stay. Don’t forget this though Nison, don’t be those who watches spools of sufferings as they are laid out. Don’t be those who blunder. Most importantly don’t be those that fails to understand what death means.
Let’s get some rest though, here should be safe tonight”
On that very serious note, we decided to sleep. It was now time to look to the future. Looking at the fires that burned that night, that might eventually reach the stars. Looking to understanding what it likely means to live…
(To be continued)
Written by DD_Animebookapedia
Written by DD_Animebookapedia
